May the Fourth be With You

     This may come as a shock to some of you, but growing up I was a complete nerd.  (I know, right?!) I loved reading and learning so much; school was my favorite.  I made A's all my life.  (Until Nursing school, of course.)  In primary and middle school I was teased mercilessly for not being cool or popular.  I remember being called names, bullied, and even tripped in the hallways between classes.  At recess I would hide in the library, where I'd research anything from ancient civilizations to American history.  But that didn't always work, and some nights I'd come home very upset, and I'd cry to my stuffed animals.  On nights like those I remember being cheered up by the adventures of Bilbo Baggins as he went off in search of dragons and treasure.  On other occasions when I was made to feel bad, I'd perk up while watching Luke Skywalker use the Force to conquer the Dark Side with my daddy and big sister.  Sometimes, just daydreaming about what it would feel like to have superpowers, like the X-men, would make all the worries go away.  I didn't always like being a nerd, though.  I tried not to be one for a while, and I was miserable.  I wanted to be popular in middle school, but that would have meant giving up all the things that made me happy.  For a while I tried, but it didn't work.  It just made the misery worse.  Finally in high school I found people who liked me just as I was, no pretending, and no sacrificing the things I was passionate about, but I was still hesitant to let my inner nerd truly fly, having been made to suffer for it all my life.
     It's odd how paradoxical life can be.  As bad as I wanted to fit in while in grade school, that's how badly I want my daughter to stand out.  Even after all the torment I went through as a nerd, I'd love to see my daughter be one too.  And here's why: nerds, geeks, dorks, whatever you call them have one thing in common: passion.  They are incredibly passionate about the things that make them happy, whether that's science, technology, comic books, novels, Halo, Magic the Gathering, Dr. Who, Harry Potter, LOTR, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc.   It doesn't matter what ignites their excitement, once a geek likes something, they let everyone know about it, and they pursue it for life.  I want my daughter to be passionate about life, and I want her to find joy in even something as trivial as a card game.  That's why I encourage her when she shows an interest in something to go all out with it.  You like superheros?  Superhero books!  Superhero coloring pages! Super hero costumes!  Oh, you're into Pokemon now?  Cool.  I'll buy two decks, and then we can play together.  What's that?  You were playing Star Wars at school with a friend?  Sweet!  Let's watch the movies, so you can accurately imitate a strong female character like Princess Leia.
     Being a nerd is something that I thought brought me great strife as a child, but now I realize that's only because I didn't embrace it at the time.  I hope my child enjoys her nerdiness, and embraces the fact that you can get really excited about a movie, or a scientific fact, or even a new trading card, and that's OKAY!  That's more than okay in my book; that's pretty cool :-)
    Coincidentally, this monologue is being brought to you on none other than May the Fourth (if you don't get the reference, you're excused).  You know...Star Wars Day?  And since the theme of the evening is revel in your nerdiness, allow me to share with you the epic lunch I sent Monkey to school with.  This is the lunch my sister deemed, "The most epic and nerdy thing you've ever concocted" (and that's saying something).

     This marvelous Star Wars masterpiece was so much fun to make.  I created Princess Leia by drawing a cartoonish version of her onto a sandwich bun using a food marker.  The Storm Trooper was made by simply drawing on a boiled egg with the same food maker.  Yoda was created by cutting a green apple in half; I then cut one of the halves in half again, and I soaked those three parts (the half and two quarters) in a bowl of water with a few tablespoons of lemon juice for about 5 minutes to keep it from browning before lunch.  I arranged Yoda's ears and face by using green grapes to keep everything in place.  Next I used the tip of a grape as a nose by securing it with a toothpick, and I added a pair of candy eyes using a couple of dabs of Nutella.  I threw in a handful of Wheat Thin Chips for good measure, and I sent Monkey off to school.  But, wait, there's more....

     I had to add this fun little note to the lid of Monkey's lunch box.

     Today was also Monkey's day to bring snacks to school, and I had a LOT of fun putting these together.

     I found Star Wars themed Teddy Grahams, although you could also use the chocolate Teddy Grahams as Ewoks, and I placed those in one snack bag per child.  Then I dipped pretzel sticks in white chocolate that I had dyed blue and red, although, the red turned out pink :-/  Monkey didn't mind though.  She knew which ones were for the Dark Side lol.  I printed out little labels from card stock that said, "Happy Star Wars Day", and I used those to staple the two bags together.

     Next I printed out little labels that said "Jedi Juice".  I let Monkey color the lightsabers before I enlisted J's help to tape the labels onto juice boxes.

     I had a lot fun putting all these together for Monkey, and she informed me that her classmates enjoyed playing with the mini lightsabers before devouring them.  Yay for organized nerdiness!

Happy Star Wars Day!  May the Fourth be With You! :-)

Chef for a Day

     Okay guys, I know I post a ton of recipes onto this blog, but I've never really considered myself a chef.  "Cook" or "Foodie" seem much more appropriate to describe my dabbling in the kitchen.  Yesterday, however, I felt like a real chef for a bit.

     Years ago, I read the novel Julie and Julia and although I heartily enjoyed the story, I had no desire to master the art of French cooking myself.  Yet, when I found this link on Pinterest, my interest was most definitely piqued.  Upon seeing my pin, my sister commented, "Once you master this, blog it with a recipe, then I'll try ;-)".  I laughed it off, and the pin got lost in the sea of other food I wanted to try.  This past week as I was going through my Main Dishes board on Pinterest I rediscovered the pin, and, curious, I finally clicked on it.  I was taken to a site in which the first thing I noticed was the following video.  Before reading anything else I watched video, and I was hooked.  Pepin made deboning a chicken look so easy with his fluid movements and his simple explanations.  After the second viewing, which J watched with me, I decided I would do this.  This statement was met with apathy from J, and a comment of, "okay, but no spinach".  I didn't care; I was going to debone a chicken, stuff it with deliciousness, and serve it for Sunday dinner.  It would be an epic challenge with glorious results that the muses would one day sing about!

     As it got closer to the day I decided to invite some friends over to revel in the glory that is good food.  Then the day actually arrived, and I set to work early in the morning in order to make sure everything was perfect.  I viewed the video once again before getting started.  Confidence oozed out of me as I danced around my kitchen to Alicia Keys' "I am Super Woman" setting out my cutting board, knifes, a pot for all the bones to make stock, my computer so I could reference the video, a kitchen towel, and the garbage can (just in case).  Finally, I was ready to begin.

     I rinsed my chicken and patted it dry.  Then I moved it to the cutting board, and (with my non-chicken-y hand) hit play.  I followed Pepin flawlessly as he cut the wings and made "ze little lolliPOP" (which I threw in the roasting pan with the rest of the chicken).  My confidence wavered slightly as I struggled to remove the wishbone. (He makes it look so easy!)  I got it out finally, though, and was read to move on.  My ego took another blow as I cut the skin of the back, because my cut was not nearly as flawless nor as easy as his.  I blamed his experience and amazing knives and moved onward.  Finding the articulation was easy. (Thank you, Nursing school!)  Then I heard it, that mocking comment Pepin makes right around the 3 minute mark, "It should not take you but a minute to bone out a chicken"....... I frantically looked at the clock and realized I had already been at it for 15 minutes.  (I kept having to call J into the kitchen to pause the video for me.)  I began to wonder if this was all a big mistake, and then I envisioned my friends arriving to see my sloppy chicken that somehow managed to be burned on the outside and raw on the inside.  I comforted myself with the knowledge that they wouldn't judge, and that there was always Domino's in a pinch.  I pressed forward again.  (I didn't literally press anything as my hands were full of chicken goo, but J obliged by pressing the play button.)  At this point my confidence began to grow again as I started to undress the poor chicken.  I had no problems getting the carcass out, and I called jubilantly to J to come feast his eyes on my brilliance.  He obliged by glancing my way and nodding, which I took as adoration and praise.  Next I removed the fillets, apologizing to Pepin for resorting to the use of my knife.  Then Pepin and I scraped the chicken fillet from the sinew.  Next I followed Pepin's lead in taking the bones from the legs and wings, only growing slightly frustrated when my bone did not break on the first hit...or the second...or third, but ultimately, the sixth time was the charm, and we pressed on.  Finally I had a completely deboned chicken.  I celebrated my victory by waving the floppy chicken suit in J's and Monkey's direction while singing, "I deboned a chicken, I deboned a chicken".
   
                       

     I stuffed my bird with a stuffing of my own creation, the recipe for which I will gladly share below.  I was inspired by this recipe I found, but I meddled with it quite a bit before I was ready to use it.  After stuffing my bird, I tied it up under Pepin's careful guidance.  Finally I was done!  I was so proud of myself for this epic achievement.  All other cooking journeys seem pale in comparison.  For one glorious moment, I was a chef!  Then I came back down to reality this morning as I woke up exhausted and fed my child cereal.  Oh well, it was fun while it lasted :-)

Chicken Galantine with Pork Stuffing
1 large whole chicken, deboned
10 red potatoes, quartered
2 large carrots, sliced
2 lemons
1 garlic pod, separated and ends trimmed off
Baby bella mushrooms (I used 1-1/2 8oz containers of mushrooms)
3-5 fresh sage leaves, chopped
1 tsp garlic salt
minced garlic and 1/2 stick butter (if cooking mushrooms separately)

For the stuffing:
1 cup Garlic and Herb bread crumbs
3 small cloves garlic, peeled
1 onion, peeled and quartered
18 fresh sage leaves
1/2 cup uncooked white rice
5 sausages, skins removed ( I used Johnsonville's Sweet Italian Sausage)
1/2 TBS garlic powder
1 tsp Tony's

Debone chicken by watching Pepin's video (above).  Cook rice.  Combine cooked rice and remaining stuffing ingredients in a food processor until combined.  Stuff chicken as shown in the video using half of the stuffing.  Once chicken is tied up place in a greased roasting pan.  Add potatoes, carrots, and garlic cloves to roasting pan.  Squeeze the juice of one lemon into a bowl; add garlic salt and chopped sage leaves.  Rub over the chicken.  Cut the other lemon in half, and the juice from one of the halves over the carrots and potatoes.  Reserve remaining lemon half.

Remove the stems of the baby bella mushrooms and stuff with remaining stuffing.  arrange around chicken in roasting pan or bake separately in an 8x8 dish with minced garlic and butter.

Cover roasting pan with aluminum foil and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.  Remove pan from oven; remove and discard foil.  Return roasting pan to oven and bake for another 45 minutes.  Removed chicken from over, and squeeze juice of the remaining lemon half over the chicken.  Return to oven to bake for another 30 minutes.

Meanwhile cover mushrooms with foil and bake at 350 for the entire time the chicken is baking, an hour and a half.

Once chicken is cooked through, removed from oven and transfer to a serving platter.

Slice the chicken and serve.  Enjoy!

     I am happy to report that all the hard work was well worth it.  My friends arrived just as this chicken was finished roasting, and we all enjoyed digging into the scrumptious meal immensely.  We had a good night with great food and even better friends.  

Best Birthday Present Ever

      I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am a huge fan of The Bloggess!  She's hilarious, and awesome.  Not to mention about a year ago she wrote a book, and it was one of those rare books that had me laughing and crying.  Anyway, in the book she devoted one whole chapter to my favorite blog post of hers entitled "And that's why you should learn to pick your battles".  You should go check it out.  But a brief overview (seriously, go read the whole thing, this summary is a pale shadow of the awesome humor you'll be missing out on.  Still here?  Fine!)  so in the post she talks about how her husband sent her to the store with a warning to not come home with any more towels.  Well, she obeyed that particular order, and instead came home with a $100 giant metal chicken.  At least it wasn't towels.

     

     My big sister was the first to introduce me to The Bloggess, so when I bought the book I was quick to ensure that she was the first to borrow it (after I had read it, of course).  Next I spread the awesome around to my mom.  She loved it too.  In fact they both appreciated it so much that they hatched a brilliant scheme.  Not long after my birthday, I managed to escape to Louisiana for a day, my first trip home in a few months, and so my sister promised to have my belated birthday present waiting for me.  She had prefaced this gift with a few hints of, "I'm so excited to give you this", "Mom and I went in on something awesome", and "You're gonna love it".  I had no clue what to expect, so when I opened my mom's front door I was in utter shock.

     Around my chicken's neck was a sign that said, "Knock, Knock....." and a birthday card that introduced this chicken as being Beyonce's less expensive little sister, my very own Star-Spangled Solange.  The laughs alone were worth the price my mom and sister paid for this present, and I was excited to bring it home and put it in my garden.  The problem was, Solange wouldn't fit in my tiny Saturn Ion, so we had to leave her with my sister.   This Saturday we went to Louisiana again for my godson's birthday party, and we were finally able to bring Solange home in my husband's car.  It was a tight fit, and Monkey was given many warnings not to touch the tetanus chicken on the ride home, but we made it back without event.

     This morning J was sweet enough to give me a day off by waking up and bringing Monkey and her friend we carpool with to school.  I didn't get out of bed until around 8:00 this morning, and after I brushed my teeth and opened my door to go downstairs in search of food, I was greeted, yet again, by this familiar face:

     I was really worried that the chicken joke would wear off after a while, but after about five minutes of giggling this morning, I have to say it's still funny.  And I have to give J props for lugging Solange all the way up the stairs this morning.

     So there was point a to this post, other than showing you how awesome my family can be when it comes to carrying out an epic joke, but whatever the other reason was is gone now.  I'm actually just hiding out here in blog-world to avoid studying again.  I have my final exam in Gero/Psych Nursing Friday, and as usual, "I don't wanna!!!"  Instead, how about I show you some more of my Halloween decor?

     No, J is not part of the decor, but this awesome mummy is:

   
     I found these giant glow-in-the-dark eyes at the Dollar Tree, and I decided to use them to mummify our back door.  J and I used white crepe party streamers for the bandages and taped them to the door until is was mostly covered.  We only had to do the top portion of the door, because the screen door blocks the bottom part from view.  Not to mention we were getting tired of tape.  And streamers.  And each other.  ;-)

     This next decoration is a spin off of one of my favorite garden decorations.

     I took an old pallet and had J bust it up.  I used the various broken pieces to make the different signs by painting them all black.  For "Pet Sematary" and "'Salem's Lot" I used a copy of Stephen King's novels as a guide to get the handwriting the same.

     After designing the different signs, I screwed them to a post I had also painted black, and voila!

     The final bit of Halloween decor was something so simple, yet it may just be my favorite.  I made a spooky sort of set up by my front door with a vase, a skull, and a pumpkin.  The plan was to have my cauldron set out there filled with candy for trick-or-treaters, but I have something else in mind for that now.

     This vase is my favorite part of the set up.  It's just a bunch of sticks Monkey, J,  and I gathered after one of our family runs.  I painted the sticks black, and I put them in this old vase.  I added a bit of the cheesy "spooky cloth" you can buy at any dollar store at Halloween time to the inside of the vase, so you wouldn't see the ends of the sticks.  Next I propped a black raven from Michael's on one of the sticks.  Finally I used some leftover ribbon from my new wreath to finish it off with a pretty bow.

     I really like it.  Now all that's left is to set up my cauldron for trick-or-treaters and carve the pumpkins we got yesterday at our local pumpkin patch.  Have I mentioned how much I love this time of year?

I've Come to Terms With the Fact That I'm Annoying

     Over the years, I've had to come to terms with the fact that some people find me annoying.  It's cool.  Not everyone can handle my brand of cheeriness.  I'm no stranger to being told that my happy-go-lucky morning-person attitude is revolting.  Probably because I heard it every morning from my mom as I tried to serenade her out of bed.  Friends at school would groan when I would be bouncing around at 6 am.  Coworkers would roll their eyes and keep walking when I would exclaim "Good Morning!" at 6:30 am.  My own daughter tells me to "go away" when she hears her door squeak open on a typical weekday morning.  I get it, but these days I have managed to find a whole new crowd of people to piss off with my happy.  I now have patients!

     This past week while working at the nursing home for school, I was asked to help feed one of the dementia patients who was not feeling too well that day.  I walked over to this sweet-looking elderly woman, who was holding her head in her hands and not even acknowledging that her food had been getting cold for the past 15 minutes.  I pulled up a chair next to her, sat down, and introduced myself.  The introduction was met with a groan, which was expected.  The woman clearly wasn't feeling well, so I gently asked her if she wanted to eat.  She shook her head no.  I prodded a little more, gently of course, and said that she needed to eat to feel better.  To that she snapped, "I'll eat when I'm darn good and ready to eat."

     Now, this was the first time my happy smile had been met with a grumpy retort, but I shrugged it off and walked over to the worker at the facility and told her that the woman clearly didn't want to eat.  She told me to go see if I could get her to at least pick her head up.  I steeled myself for more combat and return to my chair by the lady's side.  I asked again if she would like to try a little bit of her food.  She merely groaned at me.  That's when I was struck by a stroke of brilliance!  I would get her chatting with me, gain her trust, and then get her to eat!  Yeah, that would work.  So I began enthusiastically asking about her BINGO game I had seen her partaking in earlier in the evening.  That was met with more groans.  I asked about her family: more groaning.  I asked about her roommate, how long she'd been there, what she liked to do, anything to get the woman to acknowledge me and stop groaning.  Well, it sort of worked.  She stopped groaning.  In fact she stopped acknowledging me at all.  She just sat there with her head in her hands, ignoring her food.

     At this point I started to feel really bad for her.  I knew she needed to eat, but I knew she was probably getting sick of me flitting around her like an annoying fly, so I decided to quit beating around the bush and tackle the problem head-on.  That's when I asked if she wasn't feeling well, to which she replied that she wasn't.  I asked if she wanted to go lay down, and she said she did. That's when I offered a proposition: if she would eat a little bit I would help her to her room to rest.  I thought I had finally convinced her because she finally picked her head up and looked me in the eyes!  Then she said, "Would you just shut up?"  My classmate, who was sitting nearby feeding another patient, busted out laughing, as did the worker.  Not missing a beat I replied with a grin on my face, "I'll shut up if you eat for me."  (Yes, I was desperate at this point.)  To which, the patient simply put her head back in her hands and sighed.

     After my dismal failure with that particular patient, the worker rescued me, laughing that I would probably get hit if I kept trying to make her eat, and asked me to go feed another patient.  Something about the twinkle in her eye when she told me which patient I should feed next made me think I was being set up to fail again.  Then I saw my next patient.  She looked like she had led a rather rough life, and her wild eyes suggested she was a scrapper, so I knew I was in for it when I sat down next to her.  I introduced myself to her, and she looked at me like I was crazy when I offered to help feed her.  The guy across from us confirmed my fears about her when he said, "Now, don't go fighting this one, she's here to help you."  Great!  Well she couldn't communicate verbally, but I could tell right away by her body language the last thing she wanted to do was patronize me by eating that nasty-looking, foul-smelling, glorified baby food, but then I had another stroke of brilliance.  Eyeing the ice cream on her tray, I made her a deal:  eat your baby food, and I'll give you some ice cream.  Expecting the same reaction I had gotten from the previous patient, I was so relieved to see this patient break out into a huge grin and nod her head in agreement to my deal.  From then on out we were the best of friends, cracking up and laughing at each other, even when she threw her water across the table just for giggles.  Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

     Well now that you've sat through another silly story of mine, I'll share some lunch ideas :-)

Monday: Ballerina Bento Box

      This idea is straight out of Everyday Bento, which I love!  It has such cute ideas for be not boxes for your kids, and even a section about adult bentos.  The ballerina slippers come with a side of carrot sticks, cheese cubes, raisins, grape tomatoes, and cucumber "wands".

Tuesday: Sandwich on a Stick
(or if you're Jose Jalapeño, "Sandwich on a steek!")

     I don't know why, but every time I try to pack my daughter a simple ham sandwich, she won't eat it.  She complains that by the time she gets it at lunch the bread is soggy.  So, I decided to send her to school with these little "sandwich on a stick" kabobs, and she loved them!  She told me the bread wasn't soggy at all, which makes no sense to me, but whatever, she ate it.   Simply thread some bread cut into cubes, some ham rolled up, and some cubed cheese onto a skewer, and there you go.  I added some pickles (her favorite), some tomatoes and broccoli, half of a banana, and a bit of Ranch to dip her veggies in.  Typically I'm not big on Ranch for her veggies; I feel like it defeats the purpose of eating healthy veggies if you douse them in preservative-filled, saturated-fatty, creamy sauce, but she asked for it specifically, and I knew it would gather to eat more of her veggies than usual, so what the heck!

Wednesday: Princess Quesadillas

      This was a super simple lunch.  I made ham and cheese quesadillas for her that morning, and use cookie cutters to make the different shapes.  I cut some cucumbers into cute little hearts, added some grape tomatoes, and gave her half of an apple to go with it.  She ate all of this one too.

Thursday: Breakfast for Lunch

      I love breakfast for dinner.  We have that at least twice a month.  I like it because I typically have more time in the evening to make all the things I really wanted to eat for breakfast.  Plus, J's more awake, and more likely to help.  Well, this is the same basic concept.  I took a waffle, and cut it into strips for Monkey to dip in the syrup I provided (I only gave her a little bit, so her teacher wouldn't kill me for giving her a sugar rush at school).  I added some turkey bacon, a boiled egg, half of a banana, and some edamame.  Yes, the edamame has nothing to do with breakfast, but you know I like to throw a little green into her lunches.

Friday: Asian Chicken Salad

      This one is actually used some leftovers from the previous night's dinner of Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps from SkinnyTaste (recipe to follow).  I chopped up some lettuce, added the leftover chicken, and supplied the homemade Spicy Hoisin Dipping Sauce in these adorable little sauce holders to use as a dressing.  I then packed Monkey some crackers, tomatoes, and half of a banana as sides.  This was another one caused her to clean out her box, which makes Mommy happy :-)

Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps
1/4 cup dried shiitake mushrooms
1 TBS soy sauce, plus 1/4 tsp dark soy sauce (or more of the regular soy sauce)
1/2 tsp oyster sauce
1 1/2 tsp sesame oil
1 TBS rice wine vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
pepper to taste
8 oz boneless, skinless chicken thighs, ground
1/4 cup water chestnuts, chopped fine
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 TBS diced scallions
6 iceberg lettuce leaves, rinsed

Spicy Hoisin Dipping Sauce
4 TBS Hoisin Sauce
1/2 tsp chili sauce (I use Sriracha)
1 TBS warm water

Place dried mushrooms in a bowl filled with hot water to soften a few minutes.  Remove stems and chop fine.  Set aside.

Combine soy sauce(s), oyster sauce, 1/2 tsp sesame oil, rice wine, sugar, and pepper in a separate bowl.

Combine ground chicken, mushrooms, and water chestnuts in a new bowl.  Add soy sauce mixture.  Mix and let marinate for about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, mix ingredients for Spicy Hoisin Dipping sauce, and set aside.

Heat remaining oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat.  Add garlic, cook until fragrant, about 10 seconds.  Add chicken mixture, stir fry until brown, breaking chicken mixture up as it cooks, about 4-5 minutes.

Serve by spooning 1/4 cup of chicken into each leaf.  Top with scallions and hoisin sauce.

Enjoy :-)

And That, Kids, is Why You Don't Let Your License Expire

     My birthday is July 4.  It came and went, and I celebrated it, and I had a good day, and I completely forgot that it had been 4 years since I got my license.  It expired, but I was in the middle of Adult Health I, and I didn't notice until it had been expired for about two weeks.  Being the responsible adult that I am, I procrastinated another week before making time to go to the DMV to get a new one.  I sat there for about 30 minutes before realizing that I had left my old license in my book sack at home.  I went home and decided to come back another day, as it was already afternoon at that point.  The next time I had time to go was about a week later, and I had been much more on the dot about calling ahead to make sure I had all the paperwork I needed.  Unfortunately, it must have not been the right papers, because the crabby lady behind the desk threw my papers back at me (literally) and told me to bring different papers.  After that, of course I wasn't too thrilled about going back, so I think it was about the second week of August that I finally dragged myself back in there.  J came with me at this point because his license was about to expire.  This time it seemed like smooth sailing.  I had not forgotten anything this time.  I had the correct paperwork, and we were only had to wait about 20 minutes for our turn.  The guy behind the desk was nice, and didn't throw things, but then he told me that there was a flag on my license and that I'd have to call the Louisiana DMV to get it removed.

     At this point I just decided that I was done with this, and I started venting my frustration to J about the injustice of ever having to need a license to drive in the first place, and then having to have said license to drive, even though I obviously knew how to drive, since I've been doing it since I was 17.  Unfortunately, venting to J doesn't get much accomplished, but I felt better.  Then I called the Louisiance DMV only to find out that the flag was on my license because the car I had sold 2 years ago didn't have insurance.  You know, because I had sold it!  Well that took another week to get removed, because not only did I sell it, but the guy I sold it to had totaled it, so none of us had kept the paperwork for it.  Because it had been totaled!!!  Anyway I finally got the flag off my license, and I went back the next week to get my license.  Because it was September by this point, I had to take the test.  And I frickin' failed it!!!!! 

     Leaving the DMV for the fourth time without a license, I just couldn't help but laugh.  (As I drove home, btw, license be damned!)  I'm 25 years old, and I failed the driver's exam.  In my defense, one of the questions asked, "If you are driving 55mph on the interstate, how much space should be between you and the car in front of you? a)200 ft b)300ft c)400 ft d)500ft"   My thought process was, Why the hell would I be driving 55mph on the interstate???  At any rate, I tucked my tail between my legs, and I asked the women behind the desk for a driver's manual.  I spent that night highlighting the fact that it's 400ft if you're going 55mph on the interstate (not that I ever drive that speed in order to put it into practice).  I can also tell you that your horn should be heard up to 200ft away.  And all that useless knowledge added nothing to my life, but I finally got my license.  Fifth time's the charm!

     Now that I've gotten that off of my chest, how about some fun kids lunches to lighten the mood?

Rose Bento Box

This box is very similar to the DIY Lunchables I posted about a while back, but instead of ham, I used turkey pepperoni to make the rose shape.  Basically if you fold several slices of pepperoni in half, and layer them around the outside of a cupcake liner, working your way in, you form a rose-like shape.  The final pepperoni in the middle is folded in half and rolled before placed in the center of the "rose".    I served it with crackers, cheese, pickles, pretzels, grapes and broccoli.

DIY Wraps

This one was quick and easy.  I simply put ham, cheese, sliced tomatoes, and tortillas in one part of the box for Monkey to make her own wraps.  I served them with cherry tomatoes, grapes, and carrots.  To make it a little more fun, I drew faces on the tortillas using food markers.

Elephant Sandwiches

      This was another simple one.  All I did was make a ham sandwich and cut it out into elephant shapes using my sandwich cutters.  I added the eyes and mouths using food markers.  Next I threw in some pretzels, a boiled egg, some grapes, and some grape tomatoes.

Breakfast Bento Box

     This one took a little more planning.  I baked these breakfast muffins using the same recipe I posted for Bacon Jalapeño Cheesy Bread.  Simply put the batter a muffin tin and adjust the baking time to about 35 minutes.  This recipe makes 12 muffins.  I threw one in Monkey's box with a banana, watermelon, broccoli (okay, not breakfast, but still healthy), and a boiled egg decorated to look like a happy sunshine.

Chicken Salad Bento

     This box was very easy too.  I shipped Monkey off to school with this yummy lunch of chicken salad (for the recipe, click here), crackers, cubed cheese, celery sticks, and half of an apple.

Pretzel Kabob Bento

     This one was a bit more fun than those simple kabobs I posted before because Monkey can eat the stick too.  I just threw in some pretzel sticks, ham, cheese cubes (in the fun princess box), grape tomatoes, and cucumbers (in cute little star shapes).  

     Now I have to go.  I have clinical.  And yes, I'm legally able to drive there now :-P

Things I've Learned from my Cat

     My cat has quite the personality.  He's my bratty diva, and he knows it.  I know not everyone is a cat person, but they should be.  After all, there's lots to be learned from cats.  I've compiled of list of life lessons my own little fur ball has taught me.

1.  If someone dangles something in front of your face, walk away.  That's right, you're too good for that "carrot before the horse" mentality.  Walk away with your head up, and once you've put some space between yourself and that arrogant asshole dangling the thing, turn around and attack their hand with all your strength.  That'll teach 'em.


2.  Don't let anything stand in your way. No, really.  If something is standing in your way, maul that sucker until it's an unrecognizable heap of shame…then play with it.


3.  If you want something, go for it.  I suggest by taking a running leap.


4.  If someone has the audacity to try to cage you, put up the world's biggest fight.  You're too full of life and potential to be held back by four walls.


5.  Let your feelings show.  That's right: happy, sad, manic, it's all good.  If you get urge to sing the song of your people at 3 am, go for it, and the neighbors be damned!


6.  You're not fat.  You have extra protection from disembowelment.  (Seriously, it's a thing.)


7.  If you claim something, that makes it yours.  Just make sure you hide it really well to make sure it remains yours.


8.  Take naps.  How else will you be able to party all night long?  Concerned about the neighbors?  See #5.


9.  If someone's not giving you the attention you deserve, demand it!  That's right, go full-diva.  Strut your stuff right in their face, and if that fails, lay down on their laptop.  That'll teach 'em!


10.  It's good to have a dog for a best friend.  Who else would you pin your bad gas on if not for the lovable mutt laying next to you?


     And since you sat through my randomness, regardless of your affiliation with cats, you deserve a banana split.  For breakfast.

Breakfast Banana Split (Greek Yogurt version)

Inspired by Pinterest

1 banana, split lengthwise

1/2 cup Greek yogurt

1 TBS honey, plus extra for drizzling  

Fruit of choice, diced (strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, pineapples, etc)

1/4 cup old-fashioned oats

Mix yogurt and honey together.  In a separate bowl prop up two halves of the banana; dollop the yogurt mixture between them.  Top with fruit and oats.  Drizzle with extra honey as desired.  Enjoy!

Calories: 351
Fat:  1.5 grams
Carbs: 76.1 grams
Protein: 15 grams

Vitamin A: 2%
Vitamin C: 39%
Calcium: 18.9%
Iron: 7%

*These numbers are based off of the types of fruit I used, so if you decide to go with a different combination of toppings, your numbers will be a bit different.

Breakfast Banana Split (Cottage Cheese version)

1 banana, split lengthwise
1/2 cup cottage cheese
Fruit of choice, diced

Prop up two halves of banana in a bowl.  Dollop cottage cheese between the halves, and top with fruit(s) of choice.  Enjoy!

Calories: 229
Fat:  2.6 grams
Carbs: 42.3 grams
Protein: 11.3 grams

Vitamin A: 8.4%
Vitamin C: 44.9%
Calcium: 15.2%
Iron: 2.6%

*Same disclaimer as above.

Newsfeed Conservation Act

     I'm being a bit lazy today, so instead of a true blog post, I'm just going to jot down all the things I would post as Facebook statuses.  You should thank me really.  I refrain from sharing all my randomness throughout the day because it would fill up everyone's newsfeed and be totally annoying.  So instead I blog.  You're welcome.

Aundraya  (5 minutes ago) "Since Monkey will be appearing as a black cat in her upcoming dance recital, I thought it'd be fun to let her watch the musical 'Cats'.  Bad idea.  The only time she gets off of all fours is to stand up and shimmy as she sings 'Jellicle Cats'."

Aundraya (3 minutes ago)  "Okay so my little 'Jellicle cat' is starting to scare the mess out of my actual cat."

Aundraya  (1 hour ago)  "Did I give birth to a boy and just not notice?  I sent Monkey outside to water the plants, only to walk out a few minute laters to find her standing next to the tree with her skirt around her ankles, peeing.  That's not what I had in mind when I said to water the plants!"

Aundraya  (58 minutes ago)  "In other news, I may have my daughter teach me the art of peeing standing up, because I was pretty impressed with her aim."

Aundraya  (3 hours ago)  "So I kinda crashed a crawfish boil at my friend's apartment complex that was for residents only.  I don't care!  It was all in the pursuit of mudbugs!!!  (and in pursuit of the great company too, of course)"

Aundraya (Yesterday)  "Today Monkey and I are going to the "Over the Hump" party, which celebrates being halfway done with deployment. Unfortunately my child is walking around saying she's going to the "hump party".

Aundraya (Yesterday)  "I tried to explain to Monkey that it's the "Over the Hump" party, and she looked at me with the saddest eyes ever, and asked, "The hump party is over?!"...Smh moment."

Aundraya (Yesterday)  "It's getting hotter outside, which means I'm breaking out the summer dresses.  Unfortunately I forgot to break out the razor too.  :-/ "

  Now aren't you glad I actively participate in the Newsfeed Conservation Act?  No, that's not really a thing.  I just wanted a cool title for this blog post.  I'm actually just trying to take a brain break before I get back to studying.  Only 2 1/2 weeks of this semester left!  Oh, and before I go, here's a recipe for you:

Strawberry Jam
This recipe comes from the Ball Blue Book Guide to Preserving and yields about 4 pints.

2 quarts strawberries
6 cups sugar

Wash strawberries; drain.  Remove stems.  Crush strawberries one layer at a time.  Combine strawberries and sugar in a large sauce pot.  Slowly bring to a boil, stirring until sugar dissolves.  Cook rapidly to gelling point. 

*To test for gelling point, dip a cool, metal spoon into the boiling jelly.  Lift out a spoonful of the mixture; moving the spoon away from the steam.  Tip the spoon over a dish so the juice will drop off.  When the jelly mixture first begins to boil, the drops will be light and syrupy.  After continued boiling, the drops will become larger and will drop off the spoon in a sheet or flake.  The gelling point has been reached when the jelly sheets off the spoon.*

As mixture thickens, stir frequently to prevent sticking.  Remove from heat.  Skim foam if necessary. Ladle hot jam into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch headspace.  Adjust two-piece lid.  Process 15 minutes in a boiling water-bath canner.

There's really no point to this post....

     My brain is fried.  I just had a study marathon weekend (minus some much needed girl time yesterday), and I need a break from all this higher level thinking.  Which is why tonight's post will be nothing but fluff brought to you courtesy of my sweet foster babies.  Enjoy!

     Yes, I realize that I just added to the already overcrowded realm of cat memes, but they're so cute.  Seriously though, these sweet babies will be available for adoption through the HSSM in about 4 weeks, and they deserve a good forever home.