Showing posts with label PMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PMS. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Season of the Witch: Part 2

 

     No; they didn't make a sequel. I'm just going on a hormonal rampage....again.  Or, at least I was before I decided to shut down my computer and come back to this blog when I wasn't so moody.  Now that my husband has come out of hiding I figured I was no longer running the risk of saying anything I'd later regret. ;-)

    Now that the raging sea of hormones has past, I have been blessed with the marvelous gift of hindsight, which as you well know gives past situations a humor that was definitely lacking while you were living through them.  So can I just say that I'm stinkin' hilarious when I'm moody and irrational?

   So last I left off J and I were concerned about the well-being of our dearly beloved kitty, VooDoo.  Tuesday we brought him in to see the vet.  After looking VooDoo over, squeezing his belly, and listening to me describe in exquisite detail the specifics of his malady, the vet finally declared that VooDoo looked "fine" and that what I was describing could be anything.  He said he would need to do a bit of blood work to rule out the main things (Feline Leukemia, Feline AIDS, and heartworms).  We made arrangements for me to have VooDoo back in his office Thursday for a whole day of tests, blood work, and urinalysis.  (My cat's still not speaking to me, but we'll get to that later.)

   After depositing a very unhappy kitty at the vet's office Thursday morning, I went to work and slaved away all day ;-), not worrying too much about ol' VooDoo, until my phone rang about an hour before I was supposed to get off.  It was the vet.  He had called my office phone, not my cell phone.  Thinking he was just calling me to say that VooDoo's results were normal, and it was just stress or depression causing him to act weird, I took the call at my desk even though our number one client was sitting right across from me with his wife and another salesperson.  Big mistake.

   The vet told me that VooDoo's blood work came back a little funny.  He said that he does not have Leukemia, AIDS, or heartworms, but he had an extremely high white blood cell count.  He said that could be one of three things: 1.) VooDoo had a bad infection that he couldn't see. 2.)VooDoo had pancreatitis. or 3.) VooDoo has tumors.   In my head it was like he had whispered those first two and shouted the last option.  "Tumors?  Like cancer?" I asked, suddenly feeling every eye in the room bore into me.  Crap!  Is it too late to run into the other room? I thought.  The vet explained that we could do an x-ray to see if there were any tumors and let me in on how much an x-ray would cost.  I readily agreed just to get him off the phone so that I could scamper into the copy room to cry my eyes out over the now-inevitable death of my poor cancerous kitty.  That's when it hit me that I had just bought enough new clothes to insure that I wouldn't have the money for the x-ray.  Still sobbing and now pitifully embarrassed, I called J to ask him to pay the vet bill.

Me:  *Sniffle, sniffle*  "J, the v-v-vet called."  *Sniffle*
J:  "What did he say?"
Me(trying to be strong): "H-he said V-v-Voodoo, has-s CANCER!" cue sobs!
J: (way too calmly)  "Okay, so are we putting him to sleep?"
Me:  "WHAT?!? NO!!!!  I need $X for the x-ray."
J:  "Wait, if he's going to die, why are we spending $X on an x-ray for him?"
Me:  "YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME!"

    I hung up on him before realizing that I still needed the money.  So I went home angry and worried and embarrassed and fuming and basically a hot mess.  When I got home and caught J sitting on his butt in front of the computer, I lost it.  I went off on him for not being supportive, helpful, loving or caring.  I said that if he didn't give a crap about me or my cat that I'd just as well leave.  That's when I realized he had been looking up information on Pet Insurance.  Well, crap.  It wasn't long before I eventually threw myself in the bathroom, slammed the door, and (channeling my inner teenager) screamed "I hate you" before going into a hysterical melt down on the bathroom floor.  I didn't come out until he calmly told me, "The vet just called.  And I transferred the money to your account."

   As it turns out, the vet couldn't see any tumors on his x-ray (but that doesn't rule them out).  He has VooDoo on an antibiotic regimen that the cat hates.  Twice a day he has to have this thick white goo shot down the back of his throat until he starts spitting and foaming at the mouth.  This has been going on for about a week now, and he's not talking to me.  J on the other hand gave me a PMS pass for that day after I came up to him after the vet visit and shamefacedly apologized for calling him all those horrible things that I'm too embarrassed to type here.  :*- ]





   The other night, perhaps out of a sense of atonement, I made J a fabulous dinner that I found in a Paula Deen magazine (of course).  The recipe for Orange-Tarragon Chicken Linguine is probably one of my top five recipes that I've tried from Paula.  It's not too heavy, which is good because, ya know, butter is bad for you, but it does have enough to fill you up without feeling miserable after you eat.  Oh, and it looks pretty :-)


What you need:

1 3/4 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 3)
3/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
4 TBS butter, divided
1 shallot, minced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tsp dried tarragon
1 (16 oz) pkg linguine, cooked and kept warm

Cut chicken breasts in half crosswise.  Pound to 1/4" thickness.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  In a large skillet, melt 2 TBS butter over medium hear.  Add chicken breasts, in batches if necessary, and cook for 3-4 minutes per side.  Remove from skillet, and keep warm.  Melt remaining 2 TBS butter in skillet.  Add shallot, and cook for 1 minute.  Add wine, and cook for 2 minutes, scraping browned bits from bottom of skillet with a wooden spoon.  Add orange juice, cream, and tarragon.  Return chicken to skillet, and cook for 8-10 minutes or until sauce is slightly thickened.  Slice chicken.  Serve over hot cooked linguine.

Enjoy :-)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Season of the Witch

and I'm not talking about the Nicholas Cage movie.






     It really seems to be a hot topic lately, but you had to assume it would come up at some point.  I mean, I am a woman writing a blog while my husband's deployed, and I'm emotional on a good day.  So yeah, it was bound to happen, and here it is.....a blog about PMS.

   No, guys it's too late to turn back.  Besides, you younger ones may learn something.  And y'all older, wiser men, well y'all may well get a kick out of my husband's folly.

   Yesterday half of our battalion came home.  You know, the half that didn't include my husband.  Needless to say, I was already in for a cry at some point, but it came a little earlier than I expected.  After breakfast I was sitting on the couch on the phone with my husband and this is along the lines of what was said:

Me:  "Man, I want chocolate (because every hormonal, PMSing, crazy, fire-breathing, bitch-dragon wants chocolate).  Ooooo, I made brownies, and I have a few left.  Ah, but they're all the way in the fridge.
Darling Husband:  "Ha! You don't need to eat a brownie."
Me:  "OMG, did you really just say that?"
Darling Husband: "No, I just meant if you're too lazy to get off the couch to get one, then no, you don't need one."

Cue the tears.

   A note to all you clueless guys out there, when back-peddling, try not to trip over yourself.  Also don't follow up a comment like ^that with one like this:

Darling Husband:  "Oh, you're PMSing?"
Me: "Yeah."
Darling Husband:  "I don't get why that automatically gives women the right to go crazy and be total witches."
Me:  "For the same reason men having a certain member automatically makes them dumb asses!"

Maybe I just need to go drink some milk!

    On another note, I did actually watch The Season of the Witch tonight.  Well, to be honest, I plugged it in and scanned pinterest for cute shoes.  I don't know why, but I just couldn't get into it.  Part of me was worried that if I got sucked into it and it turned out creepy I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.  Another part of me could not get into a movie where men hanged women and then drowned them simply because they were women, and they were caught petting a black kitty.

   Perhaps I should attempt to watch it when I'm feeling a little more forgiving towards the opposite sex.  Either way I think I'm safe from nightmares.  The effects were totally cheesy, but it is a Nicholas Cage film.  Also, I caught myself giggling inappropriately because there's a priest named "De Balzak".  Hmmm....I wonder what that's French for......

   On that note I don't have a recipe for you.  Or a craft.  I'm sorry if you feel like I've wasted your time, but hey, it made me feel better.

   Oh wait, no.  That was the ice cream.

   Because it's made with milk!