Sunday, August 7, 2011

Season of the Witch

and I'm not talking about the Nicholas Cage movie.

     It really seems to be a hot topic lately, but you had to assume it would come up at some point.  I mean, I am a woman writing a blog while my husband's deployed, and I'm emotional on a good day.  So yeah, it was bound to happen, and here it is.....a blog about PMS.

   No, guys it's too late to turn back.  Besides, you younger ones may learn something.  And y'all older, wiser men, well y'all may well get a kick out of my husband's folly.

   Yesterday half of our battalion came home.  You know, the half that didn't include my husband.  Needless to say, I was already in for a cry at some point, but it came a little earlier than I expected.  After breakfast I was sitting on the couch on the phone with my husband and this is along the lines of what was said:

Me:  "Man, I want chocolate (because every hormonal, PMSing, crazy, fire-breathing, bitch-dragon wants chocolate).  Ooooo, I made brownies, and I have a few left.  Ah, but they're all the way in the fridge.
Darling Husband:  "Ha! You don't need to eat a brownie."
Me:  "OMG, did you really just say that?"
Darling Husband: "No, I just meant if you're too lazy to get off the couch to get one, then no, you don't need one."

Cue the tears.

   A note to all you clueless guys out there, when back-peddling, try not to trip over yourself.  Also don't follow up a comment like ^that with one like this:

Darling Husband:  "Oh, you're PMSing?"
Me: "Yeah."
Darling Husband:  "I don't get why that automatically gives women the right to go crazy and be total witches."
Me:  "For the same reason men having a certain member automatically makes them dumb asses!"

Maybe I just need to go drink some milk!

    On another note, I did actually watch The Season of the Witch tonight.  Well, to be honest, I plugged it in and scanned pinterest for cute shoes.  I don't know why, but I just couldn't get into it.  Part of me was worried that if I got sucked into it and it turned out creepy I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.  Another part of me could not get into a movie where men hanged women and then drowned them simply because they were women, and they were caught petting a black kitty.

   Perhaps I should attempt to watch it when I'm feeling a little more forgiving towards the opposite sex.  Either way I think I'm safe from nightmares.  The effects were totally cheesy, but it is a Nicholas Cage film.  Also, I caught myself giggling inappropriately because there's a priest named "De Balzak".  Hmmm....I wonder what that's French for......

   On that note I don't have a recipe for you.  Or a craft.  I'm sorry if you feel like I've wasted your time, but hey, it made me feel better.

   Oh wait, no.  That was the ice cream.

   Because it's made with milk!

1 comment:

  1. Wow... Just wow... It's a good thing he's not back yet or you might have decapitated him! O_o Also, love the youtube link! That was insane. Did that air here in the states?! It's fantastic and I can't believe I've never seen it!

    Also, Cousin's Husband, you need to work on your backpedaling. Either that, or hold to your guns. See, this is a typical conversation for Jaime and me:

    Jaime: You're too fat to eat another cookie. I'm going to eat it for you.
    Me: Did you really just call me fat AND steal my cookies?!
    Jaime: But you are fat! And these are my cookies, now.
    Me: They're my damn cookies; give them back!
    Jaime: But you're fat!
    Me: I'm fluffy!
    Jaime: Me, too!

    It's fun being married to my psychotic husband. :-)