Tuesday, May 8, 2012

That's Not the Point

    You know, after you've been in a relationship with someone for any substantial amount of time, you begin to pick up on more of the little things about them.  The way they can only fall asleep when facing the edge of the bed.  The way they always drink their milk after their meal is gone.  Or the way they avoid confrontation like the plague, but not in the traditional manner of apologizing so that the argument ends.  No, that would be too simple.  Instead my darling J has to deflect any attempt at an argument by turning the conversation around on me.  For example, last night I got out of the shower to find J lying in bed next to our dog, Roux.  This is not uncommon, or even forbidden, if the dog hadn't been between the sheets, on my side of the bed, with her snout on my pillow, after she had just come in from the rain!  I immediately barked an order at her to get in her bed, which she was quick to obey.  That's when I rounded on J, demanding, "Why was the dog on my bed?"  Instead of an "I'm sorry", or even a "Well she looked cold!"  I get: "You can't be mad at the dog; she doesn't know any better."  See?  Still semi-related to the topic on hand, but not what I asked.  "You're right," I reply, "I should be mad at you.  Why was the dog in my bed?"

"You don't have to use that tone of voice."

Again, slightly on topic, but not the point!

"Oh, I'm sorry," I respond lowering my voice, "Why was the dirty dog in my bed?"

"She's not dirty, she has a bath every week."

"Ugh,"  I'm getting flustered, but I am determined to not have him shake me this time.  "She gets a bath every Thursday.  It's Wednesday.  Why was the dirty dog in my bed?"

"No; I bathed her Saturday."  J senses I've begun to catch onto his wily ways, but he refuses to abandon them.

"I don't care when you bathed the dog, it rained today, and you let her get in my bed, between my sheets, after she came in from the rain, and I just got out of the shower!  So I'll ask you again, why was the dog in my bed?"  I will not be blown off course!

"So are you really just angry that forgot to bathe her last Thursday?"

"NO!  I just want to know what in the world makes you think it's okay to let a filthy dog get into my bed while I'm in the shower getting clean!  Why was the dog in my bed?"

Seeing that his attempts at misdirection are failing, J takes the only course left to him, "LOOK! Flying monkeys!!!"

Head hanging, I simply return to the shower for a few more moments of peace and quiet.

   But to give credit where credit is due, there are many wonderful things about J.  I can't think of any right now, but they're there. ;-P  Just kidding.  J is pretty handy to have around.  He has a knack of being able to fit just about anything into our little car.  Just yesterday he managed to fit an entire patio set in our tiny Saturn Ion.  He's also pretty good at getting down onto Monkey's level and entertaining her as if he were a kid himself.  She loves it!  Not to mention, he's a pretty handy garbage disposal.  Anything I cook, even if it's gross (which doesn't happen very often, if I do say so myself) he wolfs down with a grin and a comment about how it's better than galley food.  Yeah, I think I'll be keeping him around for a while longer.

   I'll also being keeping around this recipe I found for Paula Deen's Bacon Cheeseburger Pasta.  I really  loved it because it combined two of my favorite things: pasta and hamburger :-)  The best part is that it was adapted from a reader's recipe who asked Paula for ways to make the recipe healthier for her family.  So here it is:

Bacon Cheeseburger Pasta

1 1/2 lbs lean ground beef
1 cup chopped onion
2 (16 oz) packages 2% cheese, cubed
1/2 cup 2% reduced-fat milk
1/2 cup ketchup
2 tsp dry mustard
1 (14.5 oz) package multigrain penne pasta, cooked and kept warm
4 slice bacon, cooked and crumbled
2/3 cup sliced dill pickles
1 med tomato, chopped

Spray a large skillet with non-stick cooking spray.  Add ground beef and onion, and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes or until beef is browned and crumbly.  Add cheese, milk, ketchup, and dry mustard, stirring until cheese melts.  Stir in cooked pasta, crumbled bacon, and pickles.  Transfer mixture to a serving dish, and sprinkle with tomato.  Serve immediately.

  And now, I'm going to have a picnic outside with my little family.  :-)


  1. lmfao nice segway there... :D

  2. *bows* Thank you; thank you very much. ;-)

  3. Hahahaha!!! I almost dropped my phone in the tub I was laughing so hard at this! "Look, flying monkeys!"

    I hate to break it to you, cousin, but he sounds more like my Jaime everytime you talk about him. Even the "getting down on her level" part because he does that with Anna even though she isn't ours. :-)

  4. That's a very scary thought! O.o

    1. Yes, it is, isn't it. :-p Hopefully he's less obscene than Jaime, though. o_O