Thursday, January 24, 2013

And that was before they doped me up...

     You know what is awesome about having all of your sinuses filled with fluid at one time?  Absolutely nothing!  Except, you can say virtually anything you want and not be held accountable for it.  Which probably means I shouldn't be blogging right now, but my head's more than a little fuzzy, so I'm going with the impulse.

     This morning I woke up and went to school in a fog.  I can't tell you anything about my Human Growth and Development class other than babies are super cute when they're not yours, and when all you're expected to do is sit back and watch them in their natural habitat.  In my Computer concepts course I took my first test, and I kid you not, the man asked us what a zombie is.  Unfortunately, "an undead being who craves flesh" was not listed as a possible answer.  I really had hope that maybe my teacher had a sense of humor and was just messing with me, but no such luck.  Apparently the correct answer had something to do with hacking computers.  Who knew?

     In my Public Speaking class, I managed to perk up, but only because my instructor is the Jillian Michaels of speech, and there's no sleeping on her watch.  You can cry, vomit, or pass out, but you will deliver an excellent speech.  (We literally had one girl, it wasn't me.) I was rewarded for my attention, because when the class finally ended, she handed back the grades for our introductory speech, and I received a 97.

    After school I drove, in my fog-induced state, out to the orthodontist only to discover that not only are my wisdom teeth impacted, the bottom ones have grown over a few of the nerves in my jaw.  They have to come out soon.  The doctor must have noticed a bit of my hesitation, because he looked at me with a kind expression and asked, "So what's bothering you?"  I admitted that I've never had surgery before, or had anesthesia, and I'm a bit frightened by the prospect.  That was actually putting it mildly.  The night before I was crying to J that I was afraid of the anesthesia because people can be allergic to it and can die.  He laughed, but it's a real thing!  I know.  I've seen it on Grey's Anatomy.  Apparently he didn't think that was a valid point in this particular argument, but Wikipedia backed me up!  At any rate, the doctor told me I should be fine, and that it isn't even like sleeping.  One minute they'll put me out, and the next I'll be wondering why they're telling me to leave.  Maybe it was his kind face, or perhaps it was his LSU skull cap, but regardless, I felt like I was in good hands.  Then on the ride home, still fuzzy, I began to wonder where my mind would go.  He said it wasn't even like sleeping, so if my mind doesn't go to dreamland, where does it go?  I don't know why, but my mind pulled up the story of the little boy who was given anesthesia for surgery, and he went to Heaven.  I started thinking that would be nice, but then another thought hit me.  What if by some mistake I didn't go to Heaven?  What if I went to Hell, and no one knew because they were too busy taking my teeth out?  That's when I realized I was home and needed to go lie down for a bit.

     I thought I was going to make a good point with this when I started, but as it turns out, I don't have one at all.  Don't drive when loopy.  Also, if your husband tells you to go take a nap, you should probably listen before he changes his mind and makes you get behind the wheel of a vehicle again, even though he knows you're not to be trusted driving with all that mess in your head.

     OH, I remember my point!  I told J he has permission to video me after the surgery, but only because if I'm this crazy with a little sinus pressure, I'm sure I'll be a barrel full of monkeys while on pain meds.  He's not allowed to share it, though.  Unless of course it's awesome.  In which case, I'll post it for y'all.

     It hurts too much to think of a segue.  I'm on a horse.

1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 egg
3 cups flour (plus extra for dusting)

2 TBS butter, room temp.
2/3 cups brown sugar
3/4 tsp cinnamon

1 cup powdered sugar
2-3 TBS milk

Preheat oven to 375.  Combine brown sugar, baking soda, salt, vanilla, and egg in a large mixing bowl.   Add the buttermilk, stirring to combine.  Add the flour, and stir just until thoroughly mixed, but don't over-mix.  Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for a minute or two.  Roll dough into a 12"x24" rectangle.  Spread butter over dough.  Sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon.  Roll the dough into a log and stretch slightly.  Cut into 2" pieces, and place the pieces into a greased muffin tin, or a muffin tin lined with cupcake liners.  Bake for 15 minutes, or until golden brown.  Allow the muffins to cool for 5 minutes.  Meanwhile, mix together the powdered sugar and milk for the icing.  Remove muffins from tins, and drizzle with icing.   Enjoy!

Waiting patiently


Oh, and for those of you who didn't get the "I'm on a horse reference", here you go:

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