Thursday, February 16, 2012

Never Again

  One of these days, when I say something like "I'm never going to let J go grocery shopping with me again", I'm going to stick to it!  Needless to say, I didn't follow my own advice once again.  I know it may sound silly, but I just get these images in my head of J and I holding hands, laughing, and exchanging witty jargon while perusing the various aisles of the commissary.  Of course, this never happens, but I think last night takes the cake.

   I originally planned to go alone, but because we needed to enroll Monkey into the daycare program here on base, we decided to just do that together before heading off to the commissary.  Although this plan meant that we'd save gas by not making multiple trips to the Child Development Center, I didn't take into consideration how much later we'd be starting out.

   When we got to the commissary, all was well.  Monkey was slightly hungry, but for the most part things were going smoothly.  But as we made our way up and down the first few aisles, J began to get hungry too.  That's when he began to sneak food into the buggy that wasn't on the list or in the budget.   After catching him in the act a couple of times I got tired of berating him and simply started to replace the items on the shelf.  When he saw that he couldn't sneak past me, he decided to beg.  Then he got Monkey to beg for the items too.  I was not swayed, however, b/c what use are protein bars to a 2-year-old?  Finally he gave up and focused on keeping Monkey entertained.  This sounds helpful, but it wasn't.  His version of entertaining her was zooming up and down the aisles with her in the buggy as I'm struggling to catch up with a twenty-pound bag of dog food on one hip and a various array of cleaning products in the opposite hand.  Around this time I realized I didn't have a pen, and it was getting harder and harder to keep up with the items I had purchased and the items still needed.  That's when I asked him to run to the car for me.  And for ten blessed minutes there was peace, so much so that I didn't wonder at what was taking him so long.

  Before long he returned and chaos ensued, but the light at the end of the tunnel was getting brighter as I realized there was only one thing left on the list.  That's when J realized that Monkey's pull-up was on backwards and had leaked.  I asked him to take her to the family bathroom while I went in search of the last item.  I was telling him that I only needed one more thing before I went to check out as he was walking away, so I knew he didn't hear me.  I also knew that he probably wasn't listening when I said that this was my last item, so he wouldn't know where to find me after Monkey had gotten cleaned up.  One thing I didn't know was that cell phones had horrible reception in the commissary.

  I checked out while eyeing the bathroom door, waiting for them to come out, but I never saw them.  Finally the bagger and I walked towards the exit.  She had a cart and I had a cart, because I evidently didn't catch all of J's sneaky maneuvering.  I swung by the bathroom on my way out, and knocked on the door.  No answer.  Then I opened it, but no one was in there.  Thinking that perhaps J went out to the car the bagger girl and I headed in that direction too.  Only, there was a problem.  The car wasn't there   Now, I'm not always observant when it comes to remembering where I parked, but I did know that it was right outside the main exit and next to a buggy return.  The car was no where to be found.  I even tried hitting the panic button a few times; nothing happened.  Finally, I admitted defeat, went back to the exit so I could stand out of the rain(oh, did I mention it was raining?).  I apologized profusely to the bagger girl, who after I tipped her,  had the good grace to tell me that she's seen worse.  Then I set about blowing up J's phone like a jaded fifteen year old trying to get in touch with her ex to tell him she's still in love.  (Wow; what a flash-back!)

  Finally, my phone rang, and I could tell right away that J was still in the commissary by the background noise, and he was all "Where are you?" and I was all "Where's the stinkin' car?" and he was like "I moved it."  And I was just "Why the HELL would you move the car?"  That's when I realized people were looking at me, so I just mumbled something very threatening about what would happen if he didn't get out to of the store in the next five minutes.  He obliged, but only to realize I was not at the exit he used.  Then he tried again.  Still not the right exit.  That's when he tells me to just meet him at the car....



  "Oh, yeah;  okay."  He sounded a little too peppy for my taste.  Finally he met me and took the cart as I took the buggy.  In silence we loaded up the car that was now on the opposite side of the parking lot.  As we were finishing up I said that I was going to run to the BX to pick something up.  Out of nowhere he snapped at me, saying there's milk and ice cream in the car.  Without another word I marched off to the BX in search of Vodka, not because of the stressful shopping trip, but for the spaghetti recipe I'm going to eventually share with y'all.  It literally took three minutes.  I was back in the car with my Vodka in hand, and J was apologizing for snapping.  I bit down an ugly retort because I was still a bit peaked at being embarrased and force to march around with a lost bagger-girl and a ton of groceries around a rainy parking lot looking for the car that was there one second and gone the next.  I asked J one thing, "Why did you  move the car?"

"I thought you'd like it to be closer because of the rain."

Damn his sweet, considerate, yet inevitably doomed attempts to help out!

  By this point it was 7:00, so we stopped to eat on the way home (no one brought up the milk or ice cream this time), and we all felt better.  Well, sort of.  The way home was silent, because although food made me more calm, I was in no way a sweet, purring kitty.  J was his happy, clueless, puppy self, and decided to break the silence he'd begin asking me a series of odd questions.

J:  "So, when you make new friends, what's a trait you look for?"

Me: "What?!?"

J:  "What would you say your favorite color is?"

Me:  "WHAT are you TALKING about???"

J: "I'm just curious."

Me:  "You pick NOW to be CURIOUS?  What is WRONG with you?"

   The rest of the ride was silent.  I guess he finally caught on.  When we got home, I unloaded the car as he bathed Monkey.  After tucking Monkey in, I passed out as I was about to blog.  J woke me up later to get dressed for bed.  As I was about to pass out again, I hear "So...what happened tonight?"  I turned over and went to sleep.  Perhaps there was a little bit of angst left over b/c this morning when he leaned in to kiss me before he went to work, I head-butted him.  In my defense, I was half asleep.

   So, for those of you who read this, please remind me when the 1st of March rolls around NOT to bring my darling husband to the store with me.

  Now here's that recipe I promised:Spiked Spaghetti.  

1/2 pound dry thin spaghetti pasta 
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup finely chopped onion 
Scant 3/4 tsp salt, divided
1/8 to 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper 
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 cup vodka
1/4 cup chicken broth
1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup whipping cream
3 Tbsp thinly sliced fresh basil
Shaved or grated parmesan cheese, to garnish
Additional fresh basil leaves (optional)

Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Drain and keep warm.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion to pan; sauté 4 minutes or until tender. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, pepper, and garlic; sauté 1 minute. Add vodka (when cooking with alcohol, there is always the chance of it catching on fire, so be very careful); bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 3 minutes or until liquid is reduced by about half. Stir in scant 1/2 teaspoon salt, broth, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 15 to 20 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and let cool slightly.

IF you have stick blender, you can now puree the sauce right in the pan (easy peasy!). OTHERWISE, place tomato mixture in a conventional blender. Remove center piece of blender lid (to allow steam to escape); and secure the lid on blender. Place a clean towel over opening in blender lid (to avoid splatters), and process until smooth. Return tomato mixture to pan.

Mix in cream, then cook the sauce for 2 minutes over medium heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in cooked pasta and basil. Taste the pasta and adjust seasoning if needed. Serve immediately.

 It was really tasty.  It was different, tangy, but yum.  J liked it, but he did say that he wished it had meat. I'm glad I tried it, but now I don't know what to do with the leftover Vodka in my cabinet.  Hmmmm.....

Disclaimer: After reading my blog entry, J requested that I clarify a few points.  
1.)  He did not ask me my favorite color.  He knows my favorite color, but he did ask me some other random, pointless question that I can't remember now.
2.)  He was not "zooming up and down the aisles to keep Monkey entertained".  He must have been doing it to simply keep himself entertained.
3.)  He now wishes he hadn't asked me to put up this disclaimer.

Update:  I made the Spiked Spaghetti again, but this time I added 1 lb of Italian sausage and fresh, sliced mushrooms, and it made a world of difference.  I also used crushed tomatoes, insted of diced, so that cut out the entire blending proces.  I was very impressed with this new and improved version, and J was satisfied that he had some meat in there.


  1. Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm sorry for laughing at your misery, but it's funny! ^_^ Love you!

  2. It's okay, although it wasn't funny while I was living it, I did laugh while typing this :-) Love you too!

  3. I feel much better about my trips to the store when I read about yours, that is not meant to make you feel bad, more like... I have been there too! :)

  4. That doesn't make me feel bad; it's nice to know I'm not alone :-)